Dog Bytes

Since my person forgot to blog last week, I have taken over the k-board lest she once more fails to fulfill her duties.  However, I will have to keep this short since today is my day. My talents as Halloween are legendary and thus I must prepare. Vocal warm-ups - gotta be ready to announce the guests; neck stretches - gotta see who is approaching around that troublesome cul-de-sac; teeth sharpening - in case any candy falls to the floor.  Most importantly, I will practise patience.  Sometimes I get so excited to give treats to members of my tribe that I drop a biscuit or two into the wrong bags.  

While my person has been reading and complaining about reading 500 pages of Little Women, I have read and re-read this book at least twice.  Now, modesty aside, I cannot relate to pets with no curb appeal, but I have run across one or two with what humans like to call "resting b#%*h face".  Not pretty  - but you shouldn't judge a dog by the set of the jaw.  Billy is little boy with a big heart.  He goes to the pet shop and just doesn't get that warm fuzzy feeling from the pretty dogs and cats in the store.  You know the kind.  I guess in the people world they are the faces that grow up to be the cheerleaders and class presidents, leaving everyone else to populate the audio visual society and the office helper brigade.  We have those positions in the animal kingdom as well - lots of unappealing behaviors that condemn them to the back row, like the $200 used cars on bargain lots.  

Those dogs speak to Billy. I guess they need him as much as he needs them.  This is a real nice love story. After the trick or treaters leave tonight I'm going to fill my bowl, grab a fun size candy bar, steal the new throw off from the couch (I like calling it a davenport) and settle in to read as much  this book as I can before nodding off for the night.  Might get to page two or three if I'm lucky. 

By the way, even though my person grumbles about the bunch of pages in Little Women, she says she is enjoying it.  It surprised me to hear that she had never read it before.  Imagine that.  She and I have seen just about every movie version of it ever made but she never read the book.  So far she has smiled, chuckled, laughed,  goten angry, and might have even been sad once or twice.  She also sneezed but that might not have had anything to do with the book.  I'm sure she'll tell more about it later - the book, that is, not the sneeze.

Boo.

The Dogger Blogger Returns

Since You-Know-Who is at it again - too busy watching the Olympics and futzing with Heart-A-Rama - I have commandeered the blog this week.  Note the updated selfie.  Pensive, isn't it?  Much better than that silly thing with the Groucho gear plastered all over my face.  

I had a bout of illness in the past weeks, giving me time to read the novel you see here.  There's nothing better than a good love story, and just in time for Valentine's Day, too.  Henry is a nice little boy who brings Charley home to be his bestie.  Henry gets to do everything with Charley.  He gets to walk him, he gets to feed him, and he gets to play with him.  But his parents say that Charley can't sleep with Henry.  Oh, that Henry.  When Charley cries on his first night, Henry walks him around the house.  He lifts him up to peer out the window and look at the moon.  They sing together.  Love. Love.  Love.  I won't reveal where Henry's parents find Charley the next morning, but, let me tell you, it took me three whole nights before I made my way into a bed that was bigger, softer and warmer than  the one YKW stupidly thought I'd sleep in.

YKW has a couple projects in the works, I think.  Her New Year's resolution was to write one haiku a day. You know, a haiku is just three lines, seventeen syllables in all.  Well, guess what?  She's now twelve days behind.  I have also seen great piles of books appearing from everywhere.  Over the years they have slipped beneath beds, in closets, under chairs, in the refrigerator.  They all have bookmarks in them.  I am guessing that she plans to finally knock them off before buying and reading anything new.  We'll see how that goes. This is a list of some of those dusty, bent up books that are now neatly piled on the floor next to my favorite blanket.

A Guide to Birds of South Africa

The French Lieutenant's woman

Berlin Stories

High Wind in Jamaica

Persian Pickle Club

Kate

Readers Companion to Cuba

The Book of God

The Scarlet Feather

I'll be watching that pile which is crowding my personal space.  If it doesn't begin to shrink, I know exactly what to do.

Barks to you.

GB (Mrs. George Burns) the Blogging Doggy

It's Dog Blog Time Again

Finally.  You-Know-Who is working on a play and I get the computer all to myself.  I have practiced reading faster.  Since my last post in spring, I have almost finished two whole books so it looks like I can consider that speed reading course a success.

A long time ago YKW wrote a bout a book called I Could Pee on tThat.  It was all about poems by those nasty, four legged creatures from the enemy nation.  Now my nation gets it's turn in the very great "page turner" (KNW uses that phrase way too much so I hope she catches my sarcasm).  My buds have written about chasing balls, rolling in good stuff on the lawn, napping, and hating those silly costumes the two legged kind put us in.  Here is one of my favorite philosophical essays from I Could Chew on This:

If You Got Lost

If you got lost I would find you

If you got hurt I would help you

If you got trapped I would save you

If you got abducted by aliens

I would cripple their ship's computer system

by uploading a virus somehow

For you I would swim across the deepest ocean

 For you I would jump the widest chasm

                                          For you I would  race across the biggest country

                                          So now that you know

                                         All that I would gladly do for you

                                         Maybe you could do something for me

                                         And give me a braver name than "Wiggles"

Right?  Chew on that, will you.  And while you're at it, it might be time for you to sit down and write a letter to you best friend like the people did in this nice book.  This book -well - I don't have enough happy barks to tell you how much I love this book all about how much we are loved.  Hmmmm.  Now that I think of it, YKW hasn't written to me lately.  Actually, YKW hasn't written to me ever.  Time to sharpen the old incisors and make my point when she gets home.

See you next time YKW has a busy spell.

Yours in four-legged doggy goodness
G.B. the blogging dog
aka Mrs; George Burns

Dog Blog Time!

Finally, You Know Who (YKW) has stepped away from the keyboard. Now's my chance. I gotta tell ya, there is a lot of hoopla about a book called Unlikely Friendships. People are gushing and saying things like "ahdoooorahhhhhble" and "so sweeeet." I'm telling you, if YKW talked to me in that ushy gushy voice, I'd pack my bags and hit the road. In my bag would be my plush red pepper tossing toy, a tomato, my blue blanket, and a copy of this book. Gotta have something to read on the road...never leave home without a book, that's what I always say.

I guess the whole fuss started a couple years back with Owen and Mzee, the baby hippo and the old tortoise who fell in love in an African wildlife sanctuary. At first, Owen didn't like that Mzee was coming on to him; after all the age difference was huge; Mzee was 105. I don't have enough toes to figure out how much that is in dog years, but I am pretty sure that YKW comes close to that same number (sure hope she doesn't read this.) Well, the two of them fell in love, and wrote a couple books.

After that it was the dog and the elephant love story, and now this book appears with lots of stories about how different animals from different countries, of different sizes, different colors, and different families get along. Doesn't surprise me one lick. Hmmmm. Looks like my peeps in the animal kingdom have the right idea.

Hey, my guy, Chet, from the Chet and Bernie books, has his own blog. You can write to Chet and send him pictures at www.chetthedog.com. Chet is just like me. A real friendly dog who is a pretty good writer. Some guy named Spencer Quinn says he helps Chet out, but Chet and me, we know better.

YKW has been harrumphing around about a book called The Help. Says the cover claims it could be as good as To Kill a Mockingbird. Now, I've never seen a mockingbird, but I will say that if they are as annoying as the little brown birdies that won't let me nap...well, I'm all for that book. But, YKW says there's no messing with her favorite book, and even though The Help was good, people better back away from the comparison to that bird killing book or she just might bite you in the ankle. Hang in there, I'm pretty sure she'll be spouting off about it soon.

See ya. If you stop by my house and I bark like crazy, don't take it personally. That's my job!

Your furry friend, and blogger buddy, GB the Dog (aka Mrs. George Burns)

Finally...a Dog Blog

Nearly a year has passed since I got a chance to write a Dog Blog. I only got to do this one because You Know Who has been hunting for her old, beat up copy of Pride and Prejudice to read for her book discussion group. I keep giving her little hints about where it is, but have not come right out and mentioned that it is on this table, propping up my lovely portrait. Maybe if I sit here long enough, gazing with admiration, she'll figure it out. Books belong on a bookshelf where they can be found easily.

Anyway, who wants to read an oldy- moldy book like that anyway. I heard her talking to someone about how "layered" some guy named Darcy is, and how the Bennet girls are diverse and feisty. Last weekend, on New Years' Eve weekend, of all times, she tortured me by watching "Mansfield Park." I'll never tell YKW, but in a small way, I can see the attraction. Life was simple. Dogs ran free in big yards with lots of great smells, while their people read books, visited neighbors to gossip. Sometimes their people went to dances, leaving the homestead to the animals. I'd like to meet those dogs someday.

I have a feeling there will be some Garrison Keillor working its way back into the house as soon as this Jane Austen business in over. Last week I went to the spa and got all polished up for 2011. On the way there, we listened to stories from Prairie Home Companion. It's always the same. First, the stories in the car, then the books sneak into the house. If truth be told, I like the stories. On the way to the spa we heard one about a man and woman who entertained a parish congregation with birds they trained to enact Bible stories. That was funny stuff, for sure. We didn't listen on the way home. I was too busy expressing my distress over the morning's events. Water. Soap. Scissors. Razor. Clippers. And not a single treat offered. I think I bit my stylist. Those things happen.

Hey, this is the book I read this year. It's mostly pictures, but boy did it make me happy. On each page, there is a nice photo of a lucky dog that got to sit in a booth and smile. We are a handsome lot. There are lots of different dogs in this book, and one cat (but I turned that page real fast). Some are fancy. Some are old. Some are small. If there is a person in the picture with the dog, the person is always smiling. What does that tell you, huh? My picture is not in this book which gives me one more item to add to my to do list.

Gotta go. YKW found the book. I have to hide. I am afraid she is going to read aloud.

It's Dog Blog Time!

Finally! It's Showtime and You Know Who is too busy to write even a paragraph for her faithful readers. Harrumph! Harrumph I say! Never fear, dear readers (was that not a nicely turned phrase for a pup?) I will not desert you. I have been waiting for this chance to tell you about two of my new best favorite books.

Let's start with Dodsworth in New York. What a story! Jeepers, did I laugh. My laugh is great. I wish you could hear it. It sounds sort of like when a mosquito flies down your throat and you have to get it out cuz it tickles. YKW always thinks I'm having some sort of attack when that happens; she just doesn't get it.

Well, Dodsworth is a mole, I think, but he's still cute even if that is what he is. He likes to travel. Dodsworth packs his little suitcase, jumps in a taxi and goes places. In this book he goes to New York. He meets a duck at Hodges' Cafe, and the duck tags along with Dodsworth. Dods , as I like to call him, tries to hide from the duck, but the duck always finds him. What a hoot. I mean, just think about it...a duck following you to the movies, to museums, to the Statue of Liberty. Dodsworth is so nice that he won't just walk up to that pesty duck and say "Duck, this is my vacation, go away." that is exactly what I would do.

This was a very long book to read between naps, growling, shaking my stuffed pepper, and entertaining the owner, but I plan to read more. Dodsworth in London and Dodsworth in Paris should fill my winter months.

Broadway Barks is also about New York. Douglas is a nice doggy who is waiting to be found. He remembers all the cozy parts about having a family like the walks, and the good dinners. One day, he is found, polished up, and given a job in show biz! He sings, he dances, he does tricks. I do all those things too, but you can bet your life I'll never let on to YKW or else she'll drag me out of my nice warm bed, and put me in of those goofy shows of hers.

So, that's my DogBlog for today. What is YKW reading? Well, I saw her dragging around a copy of Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy, the same guy who wrote something called Tess of the Durbervilles. I think I saw her crying, but she would say it was allergies. Maybe she is missing her only friend, Karen, who is on a mortorcycle trip to Alaska with her husband, Steve. I bet their butts are sore. She'll probably tell you about it soon, the book, not the trip or the butts.

Hey, go see "Rumpelstiltskin" at UW-Manitowoc - Thursday at 7, or Saturday at 1:30 and 3:30.

A Dog Blog for Jordan

I was watching yesterday - now that You Know Who keeps the front door open - I watch. That is my main job during the day. So, I was watching, wishing I could run after the robin that swooped past, or visit with the nice lady walking by, when I had a thought. I finished the book I started right after my last post (about six months ago) and figured that maybe I could distract YKW long enough to commandeer the computer for a few minutes.

Once the doggy brain (the powerful machine that it is) shifted into high gear, I just couldn't decide if I should write about the book, the bird or the lady, and then I remembered that good things have happened for my friend, Jordan, and thought that a nice dog blog celebration would be good.

About three years ago, Jordan got some bad news. She got cancer. That's not something I know about, but from the sad faces on her grandparents who live next door to me, I figured it couldn't be good. Jordan and her brother Jacob live in Iowa, but they always come over to see me when they are in Manitowoc. And they bring me presents...dyed Easter eggs, seashells from the beach, and pictures they have drawn. Jacob even sang me some Christmas carols, but I can't remember when that was. Maybe around Christmas or some time like that. They try to take me for walks, but even though I like them both a lot, I'm just not the walking type. Like I said earlier, I'm a watcher.

Jordan had to have lots of chemotherapy. It went on for almost three years. She didn't like it very much, but guess what? It worked. She lost her hair a couple times in the process, but she looks real nice in a hat. Sometimes she wore a scarf tied around her head and I thought that maybe she had run off to Holywood and become a movie star. She looked so glamorous. Not everyone looks good in a hat. I'm one of the not so good looking in a hat types. I don't have the right kind of ears to hold one up. But Jordan...now there's someone who can wear a hat! One of her legs stiffened up on her, too, but I think that was a nerve problem that an amazing doctor fixed for her.

Jordan is my bravest friend. I'm pretty sure that all those needles, and pills, and fevers, and infections must have tired her out. Plus, she couldn't run around and chase a soccer ball very well for a long time. Still, every time she came to visit me, she had a big smile, and looked like she had just finished a nice long nap in the sun.

I sure am glad that everything is bright an sunny for Jordan now. Hey, I have an idea. Do whatever it is you do to send good thoughts, and lots of strength to people who need to be brave like Jordan. Me, I wag my tail each day when I am feeling happy about how well Jordan is doing.

Last month, Jordan, her mom and her dad, and Jacob got to go to Disney World, and boy, did they deserve it. I could hear them laughing all the way from Florida. One night, I heard some real funny sounds while I was trying to sleep. My neighbor told me it must have been Jordan and Jacob snoring. They did so much each day in Florida, that when they got back to their hotel, they slept like two litle bear cubs.

Jordan was treated like a princess by everyone at Disney. I think that anyone as brave and strong as Jordan should be treated like a princess for the rest of her life. The rest of her life...I like that phrase!

Here's a nice little picture of my hero, Jordan, helping with a Locks of Love event in Iowa.

Dog Bytes Dos (because I can't spell "two" in French)

Hey! You-Know-Who (YKW), AKA NMBFF (I'll let you figure that one out on your own) is all busy with her "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" play, so...TA DA! another edition of THE DOG BLOG!

Nice picture huh? That's my spot. The spot where I sit and watch the world go by. But, things will be slowing down soon when my neighborhood buds go back to school, leaving only the occasional biker or walker to take care of. No worries, though. A few quick barks and POOF - They disappear.

I launched the DOG BLOG back in April, when NMBFF was working on Heart-A-Rama. I was so excited to commandeer her computer, that I didn't formally introduce myself. I am the ShiTzu that lives with your usual blogger. She tells everyone that ShiTzu means "dog who poops on rug" and I do my best to keep her honest. I'm seven, or six, or eight...not too concerned about that. What does concern me is this name business. I am called George Burns, Mrs. George Burns, actually. Seems to me that makes me Gracie, but evidently, in YKW's mind, it doesn't work that way. To most, I am GB, and to the copiously lazy, I am just G. Come on, what was wrong with Fluffy, or Spotty. Those work. "Here Spotty." Yup, I'd answer to that! One of my neighbors thinks my name is so silly that she calls me Gloria Bianca. Mixes me all up, but then, I have to remember that I am a dog, without logic, or long term memory of insults.

Good old George Burns has been doing lots of reading for you since April, so let's kick this post into gear, shall we? My pal, Carl, had himself some fun this summer, for sure. Carl has lots of adventures with his little friend Madeline. She is growing up fast, and pretty soon she'll have to stop hopping on Carl's back for rides around town. Won't he be surprised when she lassos a collar around his neck and tries dragging him around at the end of a rope. (Don't do it, Carl. Hold out as long as you can, pal.) This summer, Carl and his family went to a cottage, and he pitched right in tot-tending Madeline. They snuck off, hopped in a canoe, and tipped over picking lily pads. They stopped at a picnic. Carl ate a bag of potato chips. Then they played softball with a bunch of guys in a near by field. They did not like Carl's dog rules, however. When the two finally got home after all that, their peeps expected them to eat a big meal and stay awake for the fireworks. Silly humans!

Some dogs, (yours truly not included) do not have a great sense of direction, or strong memories. But, all of us have adventurous spirits, and ridiculous levels of curiosity. We take great joy in an afternoon of risk-taking exploration. Sometimes we can't get home, though, and need a little help. I thought it was just Manitowoc and Two Rivers dogs that got lost, until I read this book.

I see people reading Lost and laughing at the lost dog posters from all over the world. Some are even in French and Chinese. Laugh, if you must, but this is serious business. I demand a follow up book. I need to know if Elvis ever got home to Suzanne, or if Tetley, the dog stolen from a New York Subway was found. Of course, Tetley should not have been travelling in his person's duffel bag, but that is a different issue. I'm worried about the Chinese Poodle, and the black lab with "no collar and no legs." He needs medicine. I can't sleep wondering how these stories ended. What kind of writer would tell half a story? Oh, the book also talks about lost birds and cats. GRRRR.

Now here's a book. Thank you Sam Stall for finally stepping up and showing the world just how important my sisters and brothers are and have been. I'm telling you, you can't top this stuff. Here's a teaser:

Robot: the dog who discovered some of the world's first works of art

Saur: the dog who became a Norwegian king

Cap: the dog who steered Florence Nightingale into nursing

I guarantee, you'll stay up nights reading this one. Way better than late night TV which hasn't been the same since Nick at Night cancelled re-runs of Rin Tin Tin. Oh that Rinny. What a man!

So, that's about it for my summer reading. My world watching slows me down, but hey, it's quality that counts, right? Until next time...lot lots of licks.

Oh. YKW says to tell you that with the play and all, there could be a blog-break next week. This is just my opinion, but I doubt that you will be lucky enough to have NMBFF skip a week. Her nose has been buried in Star Lake Saloon and Housekeeping Cottages, and she seems to be enjoying it. I just know she's going to have to go on and on and on about it.

GB